Shamonica Magazine

  I LOVE objectification. I am basically checking everybody out all the time. Regardless of sex or gender. I am like a randy teenage boy and a middle-aged female vampire all rolled into one. Also, as I like to say because it is very true: I am a gay bear, trapped in a woman’s body. It [...]

Love it or loathe it Valentines Day is totally a THING. With the socially enforced mandatory demonstration of romantic affection, not to mention the profits companies such as Hallmark and Sees Candy make off of said enforced mandatory demonstrations, it’s easy to understand why so many ladies and gentlemen are truly “meh” over v-day. It [...]

Whew! I just got back from an hour of Iyengar and I can’t feel my left arm! Just kidding. I feel fucking amazing. You know why? Because I seriously just took a Hatha flow class you guys, and my body loves me for it. To me, yoga feels better than a back massage. To practice [...]

  Way back in the mid to late-naughts we were all yukking it up with sites like Look at this fucking hipster (LATFH.com, now a fucking book!), hipster runoff, as well as this video about the British counterpart, the quaintly-dubbed “Dickhead” because, yeah, we were all so much better than all those idiots and their ironic, [...]

Bands of savage neon Indians are roaming the streets, causing even the legendary crusty denizens of the Haight Ashbury to scratch their heads in wonder. Why, just the other night, a pair of young ladies sauntered by the corner of Haight and Cole, in the most fantastic feathered and fringed collection of hot pink wild [...]

Shit, I remember when we used to spend whole days at the mall just fucking off, sneaking into movies, spraying body shop mango spray, smoking cigarettes in front of Planet Hollywood, and generally trying to be kick-ass hooligans. Ultimately, we’d get caught in the service halls trying to draw a penis on a wall somewhere, [...]