Shamonica Magazine

A few weeks ago I was shooting a machine gun and swimming in the South China Sea (not at the same time, I’m not John Rambo). But today I am blogging and complaining about my dry cleaner. A lot has changed within a month’s time. How I got there It’s true; I was in Vietnam [...]

If you’re up to date on the policy proposals being suggested by the new crop of GOP hopefuls, I’m sure that, like me,  you’ve noticed that things have veered from the usual soapbox diatribes about Family Values into the downright surreal. So, if I’ve got this right, women shouldn’t take birth control because it leads [...]

  I LOVE objectification. I am basically checking everybody out all the time. Regardless of sex or gender. I am like a randy teenage boy and a middle-aged female vampire all rolled into one. Also, as I like to say because it is very true: I am a gay bear, trapped in a woman’s body. It [...]

Love it or loathe it Valentines Day is totally a THING. With the socially enforced mandatory demonstration of romantic affection, not to mention the profits companies such as Hallmark and Sees Candy make off of said enforced mandatory demonstrations, it’s easy to understand why so many ladies and gentlemen are truly “meh” over v-day. It [...]

Whew! I just got back from an hour of Iyengar and I can’t feel my left arm! Just kidding. I feel fucking amazing. You know why? Because I seriously just took a Hatha flow class you guys, and my body loves me for it. To me, yoga feels better than a back massage. To practice [...]

There’s a million reasons we should dislike Daphne Guinness. She’s heir to a vast beer fortune (guess which beer! guess!) in addition to being landed and titled gentry. She subsists on red bull and Ensure shakes and has allegedly exclaimed “I’ll eat when I’m dead.” But the Honorable Daphne Guinness, throughout all of her publicity stunts, [...]